I´ve been feeling so well lately but now it is bubbling up inside of me like a demon or something. Gah, I hate it so fucking much. I will try not to overly think everything but I just can't help it.
It feels like people doesn't care about me anymore.. Sort of. I know deep down inside that that is not true. But I cannot help feeling like this. It sucks!
It feels like nobody cares about me and I am starting to think about the past a lot. I am a totally different person today (I dont mean it in a good way) and I realize I put this on myself. I am to burned out to do ANYTHING and everytime I try to do something about all of this it hits you back. Just like that.. So all the effort you've put into getting better, both mentally and as a person and towards others it fucks you up at the end.
I hate thinking about the past. Things that I have screwed up. It hurts so much. I feel like I deserve of what is coming to me right now. It is Karma. But come on.. It has been going on for so long now, I have had my "punishment"..
Can't it just stop already and something in my life can get better and more positive things will happen to me..?
|How I feel at most of the times.|