Monday, January 20, 2014

Update About The Past Week

Hi sweeties <3 

I am going to write about this past week and how much has changed and how it has been. Last week, on Monday, I started seeing my psychologist and everything was fine. I came back home from the meeting, called my mother and she said that my older sister is moving back home and I thought to myself "hell no" because she lived here before for 8 months and she put my mom in debt and took off. I was furious when I heard it so I packed my things and left.

I can take a lot of crap but that was a breaking point for me, enough is enough. So, I went to my big brother, at first, I wasn't sure about it but then I thought for myself "rather this than staying home". This is the first time I've ever just took off without saying anything, my mother knew what she did was wrong, she knew it indeed. I was happy that she realized what she has putted me through, that I cannot take crap all the time, crap I really do NOT deserve.
When I was at my brother's apartment I didn't slack as I usually do, I actually did stuff that I've should have done about years ago. I wrote my resumé, I registered on job sites and applied for over 40 different jobs. I sent my resumé to every single job that I've found and I noticed another thing when I was at my brother's place, I got back my daily routine again. I fell asleep so early, a time when the thought of it was impossible before, and now I manage to do it. I've also noticed because of it, I meet my friends more often again, I DO STUFF and feel a lot more better.

Yesterday I came back home, I thought it would be 1000x worse than I've could have imagined, but to my surprise, everything was fine.. For now, I am still waiting for the hell to break loose, lol. Anyways, my mother, she came up to me when I entered the door, hugged me and started to cry and said that she felt like a bad mother and I thought that this week off from her must have gotten in to her and I am happy it did. No, I didn't want her to feel like a bad mother, that was not the point. My point with the whole thing was to make her understand that I am not invincible, I can't take shit all the time that she is throwing at me and expect me not to breakout, especially when I already have tons of issues with myself.

Today, I went to see my psychologist again and I am going back there next week. So the process is in progress.

Now, I am really focusing on myself, I feel a lot better and I have the help that I need. Even though things aren't perfect at home, I am really making the best out of the situation and moving forward with my life. <3

 Tomorrow I am going to meet my bestfriend Kimberly, I haven't seen for since she moved to Norway, we have soo much to catch up on and I have missed her sooo much. It has been tough not being able to talk to her or seeing her. I am really looking forward to see her again!! <3 

Here is a gif picture that I did 2 days ago but never uploaded it. My hair is growing finally, yay for long hair! :D

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