Sunday, December 20, 2015

NEW HEADER + NEW PICTURES FOR Y'ALL !

Hi sweeties <3 

How are you all doing? For me, I am fine, better actually since my last blogpost. I mentioned there that I was going to a meeting it it went well. That made me relax a little bit more. The only downside right now is stuff at home, the frustration at my family is legitimately very real. They are seriously so stupid and ignorant sometimes, like why are you not working with me instead of working against me? I am not your enemy here idiot. Why makes things sooo complicated when there is no need for that at all? It is just soo provoking to me, like making shit over and over and over again and right after each other, when one unnecessary problem is solved it doesn't go 24 hr the next one is at the door knocking, like wtf? How hard is it to not get yourself in trouble? For what end? For what good does it make ? ARGH. I am sorry, I just needed to get that out of my chest. #girlwhoalwaysrant #butthatiswhatweareherefor #right? 

Anyways, enough about that. Now Christmas is coming. I am not in the Holiday spirit, like at all... I might do some fun Christmas look but I am not going to celebrate it this year (omg say what?!?), yes, you read that sentence right. It really isn't that big of a deal to me, or at all actually, if you are in the spirit for Christmas, that is truly wonderful but for me, not so much this year. I am just gonna be at home, it will be like any other day for me really, AND I AM FINE BY THAT, NO I DON'T HATE CHRISTMAS, NO I AM NOT DEPRESSED AND THAT IS WHY I DON'T CELEBRATE IT THIS YEAR, NO I AM NOT MORE CRAZY THAN USUAL. THANK YOU.
This is just before you get any ideas, there is really no reason to it at all, I am not gonna celebrate, simple as that and I am happy about that choice.
New Years will be different though this year, I am going to celebrate it with completely new people this year and I am kind of excited. I think it will be a very chill NY evening and I need to get a new dress though... I am not gonna go fully out this year with my outfit as I did last year since that was in total vain. If you cannot remember New Years was a complete disaster for me last year so that got me very turned off by the whole idea. But since this year is going to be completely different people from last year I think it will turn out great, I don't wanna jinx things so let's just say I hope it goes well. ;)

Later in January I will go to a hairdresser aka one of my closest friends to fix my hair, YASSS GURL. I am super excited since I am going to try Olaplex for the first time, it is going to be very exciting to see how that works. Also my hair is a complete mess right now, it looks awesome in pictures but irl it has a lot of yellow tones since I had my hair highlighted before all the highlighted parts are white but the ones who is not highlighted is yellow-ish and in comparison to the white hair strands it looks even more yellow than what it already is, UGH. I tried to fix it myself for the longest time by buying tons of hair professional products made for blonde hair and made for cancelling out the yellow tones (it wasn't cheap, so was more or less broke bc of it after that) but nothing worked. It wasn't until then I finally caved in and decided that I will go to a hair saloon and let someone professional fix it. Honestly I should have just went to the hairdresser from the beginning with the amount of money I've spent on products for nothing I could have just used those to get it fixed once and for all by a professional. So much wasted time and money for nothing. Well, not completely for nothing, I have learned my lesson, if you can't fix your hair at first try don't even bother, just go to the hairdresser, TRUST ME, it will save you money in the long-run, energy and the health of your hair. I wish I wasn't as stubborn as I am sometimes..  In summary, I am super pumped to get my hair cut, colored / bleached and treated, gonna look gansta AF . ;)

Also, as you may have noticed, I've changed the header of the blog since I felt the last one was a little outdated. The pictures that I will include in this blogpost are my most recent ones and are some that I've used in my header , so enjoy :*










MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL MY LOVELY,S SWEET, WONDERFUL, SUPPORTIVE, MAGICAL READERS. LOVE YOU ALL SO SO SO MUCH. I MAY BE A BITTER PERSON BUT I ALWAYS HAVE LOTS OF LOVE TO GIVE TO YOU, YES YOU, WHO ARE READING THIS, EVEN MY HATERS. <3

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Brace Yourselves, The Winter Is Here.


Hi sweethearts, how are you all doing?? <3 

I am sorry for being inactive (as usual) but honestly ever since my latest blogpost a lot of things has changed. I don't have the job anymore, it just didn't work out at all so that is something that didn't go as planned.. So I am back on track on work applications again, wohoo... Well it is not as bad as it sounds, I am quite used to it at this point so whatever. Another thing is that the winter is here and with the winter comes being cold, tired and the darkness. I really feel it taking a toll on my mind and body and it sucks, I hate winter. It gets me all depressed, more depressed than usual and  that is like really bad, lol. I am seriously contemplating my life, I have no clue right now of what I wanna do. I don't have a job anymore, I have changed my sleeping routine upside down so I sleep off the entire day and I am awake all night. I need money but in order to have that I need a job so my financial status is not at it's best shape right now and that is making me really stressed and honestly that is what keeps me up at nights. I don't even dare to think about the future at this point, I avoid it completely. My friends are somewhat where I want them to be, they also have a lot on their plate right now and going through their own shit so I don't wanna bother them with my crap and they have at this point gotten the hint and sort of feel the same way so I believe they've taking their distance away from me and I really don't know how I feel about it. I feel sort of indifferent all the time lately, I don't feel either happiness or sadness, I feel stressed out and angst (nothing strange there for me) but I cannot truly feel happy or sad and that frustrates me. I don't know exactly of what I feel and I hate to not knowing where I've got myself.

I feel sort of lost in a limbo of thoughts and emotions and I am trying to find a switch but I can't because I am walking blindly through a big dark room with stuff everywhere and I hit / hurt myself on all the stuff since they are obstacles and it gets annoying eventually and that annoyance keeps building and building and building and I just don't know what to do except to run around like a crazy women in the dark, falling over and over again on stuff just to find that goddamn switch. I am not gonna lie, things have been good, or as good as I am concerned 1,5 month after my latest blogpost, it wasn't upon 2-3 weeks ago that shit went downhill again and which I am sitting in that stupid shithole right now and trying to figure a way out.
There are so many things I wanna do here in life but all of it costs money more or less which I don't have and my biggest fear is that I am going to get stuck where I am for the rest of my life. My friends keeps telling me that is is a phase  but I know it is  not, especially when you have tried for 2 years and almost 3 now and you dont get anywhere while they have work, driving licenses, apartment, going to school etc and I am here just trying to find a job and can't even manage to get that, with or without help. So yeah, I am a bit bitter since things always work against me, ALWAYS. I am trying sooooo fucking hard to stay positive but at this point it is impossible. I know that NO ONE around me would be able to stay positive if they went through what I go through now. No one. So yeah if I want to complain, LET ME, it is my goddamn right to do so and you can't tell me otherwise or just to be positive and stop being negative unless you are sitting in the same shithole as I am. End of story.


Sorry you guys but no good news for you at the moment, keeps your fingers crossed that my meeting on Tuesday goes well, at least then I will feel some sort of hope and even get some motivation to move forward from there because man, i need it right now, more than ever. 



I sure hope so cheshire, I am counting on you! >:C





Saturday, November 7, 2015

Single but not ready to mingle.

Hi sweeties <3 

I know it has been almost 3 weeks since I updated my blog but a lot of things has happened, both really good and really bad stuff, especially this week, it has been very tough... I didn't know if I was even capable to do this blog post but I am gonna try. If you don't know this already, me and my boyfriend broke up, this was on Tuesday and it has been 4 days now since we broke it off... I have a very hard time talking about it and I wasn't sure if I was gonna say anything here or write it out but I think that might help, at least for me a little bit. I am not going to bash him, this is not a hate post, this is what I feel about the whole situation and my thoughts on it. The break-up was very horrendous, it ended on really bad terms, officially the worst break-up I have ever been through and I mean emotionally. We have had arguments some days before and I honestly felt that he wanted to call of things for some time but wasn't sure and he was just looking for a reason to fight so he could break-up. Also, I know that his family never really liked me, I tried, omg how I tried to make them like me but they just never wanted us to be together and I feel a lot is their fault that this actually happened. In our last argument he  turned it into a huge fight for no reason, I just wanted to see him that day since it was been a while since we saw each other last and I worked without any breaks so that I just could see him, I even called him the same day and he had over 3 hours to do his "stuff" and all it ended with me being bashed by him and harassed by him and his family for NO REASON, I just wanted to see him and he said he had to do some paper work and stuff and I said to him that I wanted to see him ASAP because I even worked my ass of at my job to quit earlier to see him and I didn't think it was ok especially when he had 3 hours to do his "paper work" and I know it doesn't even take that long, he could have done all of it the next day when he woke up since he didn't have any work the next day but instead he insisted on taking it on "our time" and he got mad at me for me being sad over it and he didn't even acknowledge the fact that I busted my ass for him to quit earlier to see him, I got noooo recognition or appreciation for it what so ever and that made me boil but I tried to still keep it cool and we argued back and forth and then he got SO mad at me and started to act like a baby when I wanted to be the adult and he had no reason at all to be mad at me, if someone who should be mad, it was me, but I dropped it and he kept going on and on and on and on... Remember, this was also my first day at my new job and if you have been following me for some time now I was been out of work for 2 YEARS and I had my first day and he didn't give a FUCK about it and made me sad and upset and feel like shit instead JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE HIM, how fucked up isn't that? Yeah, as I said, I think he just wanted a reason to break-up. Anyways, he in our little pointless argument dragged in his family and I can bet my money on that they were telling him to write this and that during our conversation (this was on facebook chat) and he didn't even want to talk to me over the phone to work things out, he admitted to me that he showed his family our conversation and they agreed with him and that if I didn't stop calling him (the reason I called was because I wanted to solve things over the phone, not over some stupid chat) he said his father would answer it (?!?) for him and tell me off. I was like wtf and then I went from sad and hurt to ANGRY , I was like that is IT. He must have noticed it and then he said we would talk about it the day after  and here is where things get interesting. I went to my work as usual the next day but I just couldn't shake of this INSANE anxiety and it was building up and I had to supress it the entire day just because I knew I would see him later on, I think I knew we would break-up but didn't wanna realize it at the time or else I would have cried and this was my second day at my new work so I just ignored it and went on as usual.

Later on I meet him towards the evening, he came over and we started talking. I told him what my problem was and tried to make him understand and he tried to tell me his problems about me then I was like ok we can move on from this and fix it but he then said he couldn't take it anymore of all the negativity that we have been through the past days and called things off between us. I was in such denial because I was so in love with him and if you truly love someone you try to fix things but he didn't feel the same and he said he didn't see a future with me anymore and I started to beg and cry and then my mom came in to the room and said he had to leave and he did. I tried to run after him but my mother stopped me in the hallway and I was screaming and crying for him not to leave me and when he left and slammed the door I got completely hysterical. I cried and screamed at the top of my lungs and had such a horrible panic / anxiety attack, it literally felt like I was dying. My mum comforted me and I called my friend Sandra while I was crying my eyes out and she immediately came over and then I calmed down and we talked through it. The days after that I got so much support from my friends and I have been distracting myself. Me and him will never be together again, if you walk out on me like that there is no going back. My friends and family are quite angry with him tbh but they have their reasons, they know about the entire situation but as myself, I don't wish him any harm and I wish him rather all the happiness and luck in the world. I know I deserve better and so does he but we were just not meant to be. This is the last time I will ever talk about this ever again, I only wish me and him had a better closure but it is what it is..

Right now I will focus on finding myself again and I want to be alone, I am not looking for love. I am gonna focus on my work, be with my friends and be happy so I am single, but not really ready to mingle... But one day soon maybe, I will not close myself up, I am keeping my heart open but right now it needs to recover and I need to heal from all of this drama. Thank you, for all of you who have been there for me and supported me, it helps a lot more than you think. Take care of each other. <3 




Saturday, October 17, 2015

Tons of Halloween Looks / ideas / Inspiration (also perfect for last minute!)


Hi sweethearts <3 

Sitting here in my bed with my Ben & Jerry's and I though to myself why not blog a little bit since it has been a while? I am so pumped up for Halloween at the same time I am not and let me tell you why. I guess as many of you know, I LOVE Halloween, it is the time of the year you can wear whatever the hell you want and no one would bat their lashes against you and it is also the perfect time of the year to get super creative. Like decorating, carving out pumpkins, giving kids candy when the ring the doorbell for trick / treat and being dressed up, everything is spooky and of course last but not least, TIM BURTON MOVIES, OMG !! <3

It is just something so evil and mysterious in the air whenever it is Halloween and I really get in to the holiday spirit, I get all giddy just by thinking about it, hihi. Yeah, as you can tell, I am quite excited. <3 

I have  been thinking about what I want to dress up for this year, that is what makes me sort of anxious about Halloween because I got so many ideas but I never have the entire look pulled together when I am coming up with an idea, only like bits of it and I cannot really afford it right now to go full on with a certain look... That is what sucks the most, I have that mentality that I either go big or go home, idk why but that is just me... I have been thinking about making some tutorials on Youtube for you but I don't know how long it will take to make them since recording, editing etc takes many hours to do and I don't usually have the time to just take my camera and to start doing all of that... As I said, I am not promising anything but I will try to do it, at least 1 tutorial. I have been thinking about dressing out as an evil clown, sugar skull, vampire, cat, fairy or doll... I am not quite sure yet, as I said, I am still thinking about it. I have been dressed previously as Harley Quinn, vampire, mouse and lion so I will not be going for those looks again this year, well maybe only Harley Quinn but that is because I am going to comic con / gamex here in Stockholm and I am going to cosplay her since I got her entire outfit all set-up but I will not be Harley this year since I have been her on Halloween 2 years ago. I think I might go for a sexy cat or even a clown  this year since I am not too keen on spending tons of money this year on a Halloween look.


Here is some inspiration and for you to get you in to the spirit and some ideas if you want to go for something this year  - 





Jack O'lanterns / pumpkins nailart design, also very easy to do and a little something if you dont want to dress up / have a costume on this is a great option .


Easy deer makeup


Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas
¨
Evil clown

Comic Book character

Easy, cute and chic Clown, LOVE LOVE LOVE, might do something like this... I get so inspired <3

Queen Of Hearts

Fairy
This is a great look if you want something not so in your face but still something of an extra touch. I would pair this look up with pink lips and blush to make it look more doll like bur each to their own :* 

Witch
Joker
A step by step on skull face look
Also a good step by step if you wanna do a skull or some sort of look that includes a mouth like this 
Broken porcelain doll

Sugar skull

Sultry Vampire
Wicked AF Harley Quinn 


 Soure : Pinterest, Tumblr.



That was it babes. I hope this gave you some ideas, obviously you can take any of these looks and modify them to your own liking, just play around and have fun. I hope you found this somewhat helpful, I have had a lot of questions from people on what they should be for Halloween so I thought I might as well do a full blogpost about it instead. Happy Halloween sweethearts :* <3 



Saturday, October 3, 2015

What A Crazy Week


Hi sweethearts <3 

Thought about writing here since I got so many people worried about my previous blogposts, sorry to disappoint you haters, but I am very much alive, lol. This week has been SOOO crazy emotionally, not gonna lie, I still do not feel fully recovered and I am still kind of traumatized since my latest blogpost. That was seriously a mad breaking point for me, I literally hit the wall mentally. I have been under a lot of pressure lately and the thing is with me I always let it build up and build up and build up and then without any notice, BOOM, I turn in to an emotional wreck, all the feelings that I kept bottled up inside for such a long time is coming out all at once! It was just too much to handle, I am still dealing with all the emotions cause they've been pouring out from time to time ever since. I guess I need to get it out of my system, it sucks to feel this way but I think it will be very much needed. See it as a big cleanse of all the negativity that has been eating up inside of me for such a  long time  is getting out, slowly but steady. When that is done I can bounce back again to myself because of right now, I don't really feel like myself. Not fully at least. I am gonna get there though, just need to give it some time. Also, my mum comes home tomorrow, WOW, after 2 months of being gone, wohoo......... (It will equal tons of stress and pressure, yaayy, how fun, just what I needed right now). 

Anyways, I have been pampering myself up, bleaching my hair , or at least the outgrown part, grooming myself, fixing my brows, I've put on some self-tanner so now I look like a bronzed goddess with my super pale hair, also I fixed my nails. You know just the details but the details matter though because the detalis makes the entire picture comes together imo. Also, yesterday I was at my bf's place, yeah... It went fine , thought it would go a lot worse since when I was so messed up I talked to him over the phone the night before and let me just say - things shouldn't have been said at that time and I was kind of  mean.... So I guess I just had to suit myself and face the consequences. At the same time though I didn't mean any of the things I said because at that point I was so frantic and suicidal so yeah... Hard to think straight or even give a fuck about anything other than yourself so I do not feel sorry about that, buuut I do feel sorry for certain things I said. Everything is solved now, more or less, I feel kind of relieved of that problem being out of my world so I can focus on dealing with other sorts of issues/  pressure that I have going on. It is a lot, so it is hard to keep up with your emotions at the same time as I am handling all this pressure but I am gonna do my best to keep things together, at least try my very best.

BTW - I am thinking about doing a blogpost about depression, anxiety and panic, trying to explain for those who do not really understand it in the best way that I can and something that you can do when you are feeling low or anxiety/panic is triggering you and what you can do to kind of calm down. I think it would be good, especially from someone (like myself) is suffering from it and that you can actually relate and know that if the tricks work for me I am pretty sure they will work on you as well. It is just things that I have learned during the years and has helped me a lot , also something to inspire you when you need it the most. I think about dividing it into 3 pieces, 1 - What you need to know about depression, anxiety and panic. 2. How to deal with depression, anxiety and panic (tips / tricks) 3. motivation for those who suffer from these conditions. What do you think, do you want me to do these ? Let me know if that is something y'all would be interested in because I could definitely do that for you lovelies. <3 





Some pictures I took a while back ago but never posted them, bare face, natural hair and apparently, tits half way out , enjoy  - 



Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Done.


Hi sweeties,

Today I feel a little bit blue. I have been feeling sort of.. burned out to be honest with you. I always have had some sort of fight in me even though things are shitty I am still going strong and fighting but right now I am not so sure about it. I have been trying my best and I mean like REALLY trying my hardest to get through all of it but somehow I just feel like I am too tired to fight it anymore. I can't cry even if I want to, I can't scream I can't do anything. For the first time in a very long time I feel nothing, which scares me even more than to actually feel. To feel nothing, just pure emptiness is 100x way worse than feeling depressed / angsty. I can't remember when it was the last time I felt like this. If you remember reading my blogpost "re-evaluate" I mentioned that I was going to see a school guidance and it went as I thought it would go, shitty. I am applying to different kind of jobs still and my jobcoach that I am seeing now isn't doing so much , feels more like the otherway around. I am SO DONE AND TIRED of things working against me ALL THE TIME, I am not even exaggerating when I say that. If you are reading this now I can bet my money that you are thinking "you are not doing enough", "put some more effort to the things you do", "this is a phase it will pass", " you are being negative", "stop complaining, it won't do a shit for you", "you just gotta keep on working harder and harder" , " you don't do anything", you are just lazy af" etc. - I AM SICK OF YOU ALL TELLING ME THIS, WHY AM I NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL WHAT I FEEL? LET ME FEEL WHAT I FEEL AND LET ME BE! 

You don't understand what I am going through so you have NO RIGHT to judge me, walk in my shoes first then we can talk. I had a friend of mine that was going through the things that I do for 1 month, even my friend was like "I don't understand, I was going insane for a month and you have been there for years now, I don't understand how you can go through all of this..."- yes I know and it isn't as easy as it looks like is it? I am not mad, I am happy that my friend actually finally somehow understood me in the end,  but in all seriousness , 90% of people around me do NOT get this. I get hurt and discouraged when people say weird shit like the things I wrote above, it isn't helping me and it makes me feel more like shit as a human being, I feel USELESS. Nothing can cheer me up now, I know that talking to someone helps a lot but honestly, at this point it just isn't doing the trick for me anymore. I am just talking away my life while everyone else is living it, why am I soooo special that I am not allowed to have the basic right and privileged to live my life as well?? Why do I have to work 1000x harder than everybody else? where is my reward? when will I find some peace? I am always stressed out, sad and irritated. I am just so tired, I can't even remember when the last time I was truly happy. I am not happy. I am depressed AF. I feel like I will never get anything here in life no matter how hard I am trying and how hard I am fighting, I don't see the future being bright and I don't have any hopes or dreams anymore. I am empty, I am not living , I am just breathing and having a functional body but I am NOT living my life as I should be doing. I seriously don't see the point anymore, I am for the first time in a year if not more,  feel suicidal. Not the type when you are just sad and go like "oh I wanna kill myself I don't wanna live" in te moment thing and it will pass, no, this is legit. I feel a weird calm , a solace, peace, release and joy by thinking about it... I have never been for suicide, trust me, but now when I am sitting here I am seriously consider it as an option, my last exit. I don't know what to do anymore. Sorry for being so morbid and sound so dramatic but I am not shitting you right now, I am serious and if you want to take this serious or not that is up to you. I am just gonna leave it at here.



Saturday, September 19, 2015

VIDEO - Whats In My Bag / Purse ? #tag


Hi sweeties <3

Did another video for you, as you might tell there is a difference in my mood, in this video I am much more awake and alert, lets dig in to my bag and see what we got inside ;)




Also please subscribe to my channel, I will have better video quality since I've fugured out how to use my HD camera and will do a lot more videos like GRWM , chit chats, talking about life in general and so on and so forth. Maybe even doing reviews, so check my channel out HERE 

Friday, September 18, 2015

VIDEO BLOG !


Hi sweethearts ! <3

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I wanted to make a video blog / vlog because I thought about it long and hard and now I cannot stop. I think it is so much fun to make these videos, I am going to even make one right now !! I will be uploading it to my youtube channel so subscribe to my channel if you want to see it first ;)

Otherwise I will upload it here tomorrow but if you feel like you cannot wait check out my youtube channel called jawavoncherie, I will pop up if you search for me. Please subscribe, it would be so sweet of you since I just started making videos on my channel I don't exactly have any followers there... So if you could show some support it would be awesome and it would make me more motivated to do videos, if that is what you would've want to see / watch here on my blog as well. Click HERE to get directly to my channel. I also have a youtube button at top of the blog which will lead you to my channel as well.

- BTW, I was super tired when I made this video so I am sorry if I sound so off, I was on the verge of falling asleep, promise though I will not be as tired in this video in my next one :*

Here it is -



That freeze picture though... 

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Re-evaluate


Hi sweeties, how are you all doing? <3 

If you would ask me I would say that I have a bumpy road ahead of me. When I came back from London everything seemed fine for a while there but then I've noticed things been going down and pretty quickly without me even doing anything besides trying to keep up with everything but somehow , oh the sweet salty irony so called life just decided to stir in the pot for me... I didn't get the job... Which sucks big time ! I don't understand, I am trying not to get bitter over it either but how come that EVERYONE I know gets the most simple job just by applying to it and not lifting a finger but when I do it and like literally going all in I don't get a shit? Honestly it feels very unfair, I fight SO HARD to get  a job and I apply to all kind of different ones but I don't get anything, not even contacted... But when anyone other besides ME do that they get the job as easily as an blink of an eye, I just can't wrap my head around it... So fucking unfair... 

Also , another super unfair thing happened to me which I so did not deserve but of course, if you are me you are cursed for life of bad luck and that has dragged me down even more.. I am really trying to keep my shit together and try to be positive but it is SO HARD, especially when I get crap for what I do not deserve to get for... I am mad and a bit bitter , yes. Will I get over it? No, not really but I will try. I have been thinking, what if I just stop giving a fuck so much and stop trying so hard and actually do what I want to do?? I mean I am unemployed and as it looks like I won't be getting a job anytime soon so meanwhile I might do something like YouTube. I know that Halloween is coming up so how about doing something fun  for you my followers and making a tutorial ? Maybe even regular videos like get ready with me?  I might even start to video blogging, not that my life is so rich and things happen all that much but it would be more like you hanging out with me on an basic day and I get to talk to you more in-depth about whatever is on my mind.. I don't know, I have a lot of ideas but the only thing that keeps me away from doing it is 1. my camera doesn't have an auto focus unfortunately and 2. I get kind of shy and awkward 3. I feel kind of uncomfortable talking English to a camera in my own home because that might rise questions from my brother and he will think I am crazy which leads to point 2.  I might even start to paint again and I mean like taking classes or something just to get out there and meet other art interested people would be fun. I want to also start to photograph. Honestly I got so many ideas but I don't know where to begin and I lack kind of motivation to even get started with any of it. I want to but then when I am about to I just go "meh.". You know what I am sayin'? Or is it just me being really weird ? (as usual..) 

I am going to meet a school guidance tomorrow and see where my chances are there, I met another one not to long ago but she didn't work for the community and she gave me pretty bad news so I've decided to deal with this issue once and for all and talk to the ones who in the community and are the head of knowledge and are the ones who are taking care of applications for school etc. and see what they have to say. I am apparently a hard case to crack so I think they are the ones with the answers to my questions and my job coach are going to join me tomorrow so we shall see how it goes.. I also need to talk to my job coach about certain recent events that I am not pleased with and see if she has any suggestions and might help me with my issues that I am experiencing at the moment.








Wish me luck babes and I talk to you soon, take care now. :* <3 

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Back From London


Hi sweeties <3 

How are you all doing? I recently got home, I was actually in London for an almost an entire week and came home late last night back to Sweden and went straight to my boyfriends house because we went on this trip together. I slept the night there and now I am finally home, in my own bedroom , with my own computer in my own bed and just chilling. The trip down there has been amazing as expected, I seriously LOVE London, omg did so much shopping !! Oxford Street is the best. The hotel we were staying at was nice and the food was delicious. I felt like I really needed that trip since it has been going on so much lately in my life, it has been pretty stressful and I have had loads of stuff  so I felt like this is really what I needed to re-boost my energy back and give myself some peace in mind by giving it a rest.  I was so busy that I didn't even take 1 single picture while I was there compared to before when I was the last time there. I tuned out  THAT much. I couldn't give a less damn about anything while I was down there because let's get real, I got down there for a reason and that reason is to shut out all the stress and drama and just focus on my well being. It worked like a charm ! :)

I am feeling kind of exhausted because it has been a long day since the flight back and I am kind of feeling jet lagged at this point. Things at home are going great, it was seriously a pleasant surprise when I got back because I got my mind set to "here we go again..." but then it turned out to be something way better, I am really feeling the positive vibes in my home for the first time in MONTHS maybe even YEARS. This time I can really feel the change for something better and it is here to stay, at least for a good while and just that thought makes me so relaxed and happy, I feel kind of excited for the future now. That is something I haven't either been experiencing in a while so that is awesome. I even might have a job soon, I've been to a job interview and I even got something cooking up in that pot as well so yeah. It is all good. <3