Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Trying To Stay Positive


Hi sweeties <3

As you may all have noticed I have changed the header/design on the blog. I am still working on it though so do not worry if it looks a little bit messy. I am not to fond with the header for my blog but I truly needed something up to date so the one that I have will do for now. I am also planning on doing a photoshoot soon so that I can have a nice header and some new pictures for y'all. I got tired of the old dark design / header, I might go for it again though towards fall/winter but now when it is summer I wanted something more light and a little bit more girly, so that is why I went for pink and purple (love purple though, one of my favorite colors). <3 

As for the latest post that I made I wasn't feeling exactly to explain some things, I just felt to shitty but I needed somehow to get it out of my system so I let the pictures speak for themselves, sometimes pictures are stronger than words imo. Anyways, the reason for that was because something not so cool happened. I am not going to get in to any details though for the respect for the person and I am not a shady person and I don't feel like putting out to much information about my life here on the blog (even if I kind of do because d'uh it is a blog). I have been kind of sulking in my own misery for the past days but sometimes here in life you gotta be strong and sometimes you have to think with your mind instead of your heart. I did what needed to be done because it was not only for myself, also in order to make things right, or atleast try but it has not been easy, not gonna lie. I know I might be tough AF but I am also human, sometimes things get way out of hand and the emotions are flowing overboard. It also feels like I am the only one fighting all the time and still gives a damn, I might seem to be cold as a person but come on, even that is cold even for me!
Idk, I am just so confused and I feel kind of hurt and discriminated and it pisses me of that the person doesn't see that he/she is causing all of this drama/bullshit and then tries to pin it on me and make ME feel bad or try to make me ALWAYS apologize for shit that I may have said / done but when he/she is the one who starts everything and dropping drama bombs then OH HELL NAH then when it is time to man up and actually say that he/she is sorry NOOO that just don't cut it. Yeah I am sort of pissed because that person didn't even apologize, I swear to god, if I said anything shady like that person said to me and would not apologize hell would break loose. That is some real bullshit right there. OOOH such a drama queen, everytime when things cool off and starts to go great that person needs to stirr in the pot but you know that? It is really starting to give me a bad taste in my mouth and I hope that the person realizes that if he/she does not stop whatever they've gotten into their stupid head I will make it stop, for good. Because I am done, I AM SO DONE with bullshit/drama, I don't need it it my life right now...

Wow, that was a big rant, sorry just started to type and I got everything out I guess. I think I needed that, lol. Atleast I am feeling a little bit better, I am bouncing back and I am taking day by day and it sort of gets easier, I am trying to surrender myself with positivity and just keeping myself busy and focusing on myself.

That is number 1 rule, stay positive and stay true to yourself, even though through darkest hours/moments here in life that are hard, just always fight and always try to bounce back on your feet, no matter how long it will take, you will get there eventually. <3



Picture Source: Weheartit.com

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Cray


Hi sweeties <3

How are you all doing? Just wanted to make a quick update. This weekend / past 3 days have been sooo in stressful since my boyfriends sister graduated (congratz <3) I had to fix  her makeup and I helped out with all the stuff / prepared the food for the guests before they arrived. Not gonna lie, I was just so freaking nervous, my anxiety level went from 0 to 100 real quick and if you know me well / reading my blog for a while y'all know that I suffer from panic / anxiety and it gets triggered very easily if it is a lot of people around me and if I am nervous (which I truly was) since I've got to meet his entire family, I mean as in relatives lol. It was around 30 different people, I was so tired, my feet hurt, I was nervous and yeah, it was a bit crazy at first for me but then I relaxed a bit more since I greeted everyone and some time went by and I got more comfortable. Overall, it went well so I am happy about that.

Right now I am just chilling, drinking my coffee and I thought I might as well blog a little bit since I been so crappy at it (seriously, I am the worst blogger of all time). My boyfriend is coming over soon so I better get something to eat and then I am going to jump in  to the shower real quick. Here are some pictures of me looking casual as well, my natural curly hair and no makeup -







Must go now, ttys :*

Monday, June 1, 2015

HUGE UPDATE !!



Hi sweeties !!! <3 


Omg, it has been such a looong time since I updated. Shame on me, I deserve a real spanking leaving you my sweet and adoreble readers alone here on this damned so called blog. Honestly last time I wrote here was about 2-3 months ago (!!!) and the last time I updated I wrote that I was getting my camera fixed which I did but I ended up buying the wrong lens so I switched it with a friend of mine that also has a Canon. She likes taking pictures of nature / object while I am using mine just for selfies and the lens that I bought didn't allow me to take selfies but hers do and it was the regular canon lens that comes with the camera when you buy one so I switched it for hers so she got mine and she got hers and everybody was happy, yay. <3 
Right after I got my camera fixed I broke my mobile internet stick (which looks like a memory stick) and I had such a pain in my butt getting it fixed because it didn't work and I had to go back and forth to the place changing it because the new internet stick didn't work / calling the operator which provides my subscription and gives me the internet /  change the card in the damn stick because they said it was broken / returned the other stick again and went to the place that provides my internet and got a new mini router directly from them etc. That was going on for a month because the holidays were up here in Sweden then it was Easter in between there, yeah, it was a big headache... 

A lot of new but exciting things has happened in my life, got rid of old friends and made some new ones as I mentioned earlier in my blog not too long ago because of various reasons. I am happy now with my relationships here in life compared to before, met some new awesome people that really lifts me up and makes me happy and that I have such a great time with. If we are talking about my life in , such things as finding a job , well that part is a complete massive hell,  I STILL haven't found one and it is HARD, especially in this city where I live. Y'all think it is easier to get a job in the big city? HAH , THINK AGAIN. It is NOT I can assure you that. It is with that mentality that has made it so difficult because about 1-2 years ago everyone thought that but what do you think happens when all the people start to believe in it? It gets very crowded in the big city and when it does the jobs that are availible gets taken. The ONLY way more or less to get a job at this point is through friends / family which I don't have that many of and they struggle as well. So yeah... Still looking though and maybe, just maybe, I might get something eventually... Even after 2 years of constant applying for different kind of work heh.

I am at a point in my life where I feel happy for once about my home, family and friends BUT when it comes to other things, about where / what you "suppose" to do here in life expected by the society it is practically where I am stuck and it makes me sort of depressed.. Can't even go back to school to study up my grades because of the stupid new rules they've put up here where I live, so I am fucked for life if I don't get a job by some sort of a miracle...

Otherwise, I am pleased and I don't want to complain to much, it can be worse. I have also dyed my hair blonde, atleast for the summer then I might go for a dark red / plum for the autumn, we shall see what happens... Also, I have a boyfriend now so my status is not single anymore, lol. So I have a boyfriend, new and great friend and things are great at home for now , that is the positive turn my life has taken for this past time since I blogged. I hope it will get better and if I find a job my life would be perfect. So send me some luck please because I could really use it right now, atleast for the job searching part ! <3  

Here are some brand new selfies of me since it was SUCH a long time I took really decent pictures of me ;) 





Love you all and I talk to you sooner or later. <3 :*